Isekai Kansha - Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Conviction and Resolve

The next morning, Jin woke a little earlier than usual. After washing his face and getting ready, he decided to check the one thing he hadn’t yet touched: the Battle System, before having breakfast.

The reason was simple. Last night, when he used Map to search for Pam Flowers, the closest response was deep inside a forest, a fair distance away. Unlike the roads and areas around town, where barriers kept beasts at bay, he would likely have to fight monsters there.

In the past two days, he hadn’t experienced a single battle, but since he could change the settings anytime, Jin thought it best to at least check things in advance.

• Damage Reproduction Rate

• Drop Item Settings

• HP Display

• MP Display

• Status Display

• Effects

• Alert Function

The Damage Reproduction Rate was, as Chris had explained in the tutorial, the safety setting. Since he already knew what it was, he skipped it.

The Drop System, however, was new. It let him decide how items would appear after defeating a monster. At the lowest setting, he had to touch the corpse as though he were harvesting it, which would then break down into materials. At the highest, items would be automatically stored in his item bag upon defeat.

For Jin, who had absolutely no knowledge of harvesting, this was exactly the feature he needed. Since it was currently set to OFF, he switched it to ON at a middle setting—where touching the monster, as though harvesting, would auto-store the items.

Next were HP Display, MP Display, and Status Display. These toggled whether to show information as numbers or bars—not only for himself, but also for monsters. Useful, yes, but Jin left them OFF. He already knew he could switch them on with just a thought if needed, so why keep them on all the time?

Then came Effects and Alert Function, both of which Jin considered playful extras—like the Music setting before.

Effects allowed flashy visuals: a glowing arc when swinging a sword, or a cascade of light when casting a healing spell. Jin figured it was meant for adventurers who liked to turn their favorite skills into "signature moves." He didn’t dislike such silly features, but for now, he ignored them.

The Alert Function was more serious, highlighting danger with red warnings, flashing "DANGER" text, or playing sounds when HP entered the red zone. Still, since Jin had already turned off the more practical system alerts for level-ups and skill acquisition under Music, he naturally left this OFF too.

With that, Jin finished checking the last of the Battle System. He had breakfast downstairs, then headed straight for the guild.

As he arrived and was about to walk toward the training grounds, someone called out to him at the entrance.

"I’ve been waiting for you, Jin-san."

It was Aria. Come to think of it, this was the first time he had seen her outside the reception counter. It felt oddly refreshing.

"Good morning, Aria-san. You’re here awfully early."

"Yes. Since you agreed to take the Pam Flower gathering request, I came in a little earlier today."

"I see, I’m sor—"

Jin was about to apologize for making her come in early, but she cut him off.

"There’s no need to apologize. Every year, many children fall ill with Hashikana Fever. If an epidemic strikes and there aren’t enough medicines, lives will be lost. Knowing that you’ll handle this puts me at ease. We’re the ones who should be thanking you—not the other way around."

Seeing the earnest concern in her eyes for the children, Jin felt a surge of respect—and even a touch of admiration.

"You’re kind, Aria-san. Leave it to me. I’ll gather them all before the day is out."

Moved, Jin pledged his full effort. Aria averted her gaze at his words and mumbled a denial, embarrassed, though the words never reached his ears.

"May I have your card, then? I’ll process the request early as a special case. Please wait here a moment."

Regaining her usual composure, Aria took his guild card. Since it was outside business hours, she was probably bending the rules for him. Jin waited quietly until she returned.

"Thank you for waiting. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but please do be careful of monsters."

Handing his card back, she looked at him with a faintly worried expression. Jin could feel it, and the concern warmed him.

"Thank you for worrying about me. Well then, I’ll be off, Aria-san."

He smiled as he said his usual farewell.

"Take care."

For the first time, Aria returned the phrase.

With pride in doing work that truly helped others—and carrying the encouragement she had given him in her "Take care"—Jin left the guild with renewed determination.

A short distance away, he realized he had forgotten to warm up at the training grounds. He chuckled at himself, a little embarrassed, but not at all displeased.

After leaving the town, Jin stopped in a quiet spot to stretch and complete his warm-up, then searched for Pam Flowers with Map. The nearest forest lay partway along the highway, then a short distance off the road.

This time, to conserve his stamina, he decided not to practice dashing or stepping drills on the way—just a normal pace. Still, the roadside was dotted with herbs often overlooked in less dense areas.

It was the perfect chance. Jin resolved to gather plenty of Mel Grass and Chiriru Grass along the way.

The sky was clear, the sun pleasantly warm. On the highway, carriages bound for other towns were already in the distance. Maybe someday, I’ll travel to other towns too… Jin mused, letting his mind wander to places unseen.

Before long, he reached the point where he would leave the highway and head toward the forest. From here on, he would need to be more cautious.

Jin steadied himself and headed into the forest.

For now, his Map only showed the main target — the Pam Flower — along with the recurring requests for Mel Grass and Chiriru Grass. He’d been told beforehand that no particularly powerful monsters appeared around here, so he intended to use this trip as training to learn non-stamina skills like Sense Presence, Intuition, and Search.

In the first place, Jin didn’t know his stats were abnormally high, nor did he realize how out of scale many of his skills were. He only took himself for a person who’d been given a bit of a skill advantage — someone a little better at physical activity than average. So he believed he should always be consciously trying to acquire skills that played to his strengths.

That assumption came from a misunderstanding, but in the end, it wasn’t wrong.

Moving while checking for the slightest sign of life around him, Jin headed for the location he’d marked on the map. The patch shown was a short way into the woods and fairly concentrated. Compared with herbs like Chiriru or Mel, the distribution of Pam Flowers was very limited — they must have some specific growing conditions. Because of that scarcity, Jin planned to harvest even from a concentrated spot this time.

He walked on, scanning for signs, but got nothing — not even a hint. He felt a little forlorn; such senses are not built overnight, after all. Still, he kept going.

The current request needed five Pam Flowers; combined with what had already been gathered, it would produce enough medicine at a minimum. Jin, though, wanted to collect at least ten blooms. When he’d checked the map last night, there had been a few more marker points than now. It was unlikely someone had harvested them overnight — more likely, some animals had grazed them. Since these flowers only appeared in this season, he wanted to secure them before they were eaten.

As usual, he gathered scattered herbs shown on the map as he moved toward the concentrated patch. After securing three Pam Flowers and roughly three sets each of Chiriru and Mel, Jin reached the target spot.

It was a small clearing. "Concentrated" didn’t mean an ocean of blooms — but there was no other place nearby where so many had come up together. Grateful that so many had survived here, Jin crouched to begin harvesting.

Just as he did, a bad feeling prickled through him, and he spun around.

About ten meters away stood two ant-like creatures roughly the size of large dogs. Their bodies were covered in black carapace; they looked like ants with hermit-crab pincers attached.

They reacted to Jin’s movement, clacking their sharp mandibles and pincers in a threat display.

"Crap!"

Jin drew his steel bastard sword and quickly put himself between the ants and the Pam Flowers, shielding the patch behind him. Whether his stance prompted them or not, the ant-things charged.

Jin thought for a flash about casting Mana Bullet, but decided he couldn’t finish the chant in time. He braced, stepped to the right at the last moment to evade, and managed to create a one-on-one situation.

If he didn’t finish off one now, it would turn into a two-on-one and become disadvantageous.

He wound up and struck with all his might, intending to land a killing blow. The ant’s hard carapace resisted the blade — he couldn’t cleave it in two. Still, from the impact, he knew he’d dealt heavy damage. Seizing the moment as the creature recoiled, he slashed up in a scoop motion to finish it off.

That one fell. But in the instant he moved to follow up, the second ant dove in.

Jin was hit right after his attack. He twisted desperately to avoid, but having just lunged, his body was too extended to completely dodge. A pincer slammed, aiming to rip from his left arm to his flank.

Pain should have come, but there was none; instead, there was the same blunt shock he’d felt in the game.

Confused and infuriated for a split second, he adjusted his stance and kept fighting. This time, he took no further hits and defeated the remaining ant.

After the fight, Jin stood and looked at the two corpses. He hadn’t skinned them; he only stared, and something like anger was in his gaze.

That anger was directed at himself.

He thought: This world is real — it’s not a game. These creatures risked their lives to take mine; they charged and died. That was what they had to do to survive.

All living things kill to live — to protect themselves, to secure food, to make life sustainable. No creature does not, directly or indirectly, sacrifice the lives of others in order to live.

Jin had chosen to live by hunting life as an adventurer.

He had accepted that he would hunt and might be hunted in turn. Or at least he thought he had — he realized now he’d been naive.

He should have questioned whether the same "damage reproduction" setting from the game existed here.

He examined the area where he’d been hit. His clothes were torn at the place struck, and his armor showed clear scuff marks as if something had rubbed against it. But his arm — the spot the pincer should have ripped — bore no wound, not even a bruise.

That seemed like a blessing. Even setting aside how unusual it was for him as a person, having no physical wounds meant the risk of bleeding to death was gone, and the likelihood of limb loss was eliminated.

Still — to feel no pain? What did that mean?

Memories of his nephews, nieces, and their children flashed through him. When kids begin to move on their own, they fall, bump into things, and learn about pain. They repeat it so they won’t do the same thing again. In groups, little children hit and are hit and learn pain; through that, they learn what not to do and what is unpleasant, and they learn communication. Along with that, they pick up empathy and consideration.

"Don’t do things that others dislike."

"Be someone who can feel others’ pain."

That was what Jin had always told children. If he himself no longer felt pain, could he accept that merely because it was convenient?

The strike earlier was not the tearing pain of flesh; it was only an impact.

He thought further: I killed the enemy — I gave them damage and took their lives. Their attack reduced my HP, yes, but it did not cause pain.

If this were just a game, that would be fine. There would be a reason for it, and since it was fiction, it would make sense.

But this was reality. In reality, it was natural to feel pain.

Such "game mechanics" had no place in this wondrous world — not for Jin, a man who carried the weight of a long life behind him. He simply could not accept it.

---

Here, let us speak a little of Jin’s past.

His life had not been smooth sailing up to old age, nor had he always held the values he carried now. He managed to get through university in a straight line, but ended up repeating two years along the way.

At his first company, he experienced various departments — sales, planning, and more. He achieved results and even earned promotions, but he was never truly satisfied with the environment he was given. He cut corners, and in the end, after more than ten years, he left the company.

With his severance money, he idled away several years — until illness struck. The diabetes that had begun in his college days advanced, causing hemorrhaging in both retinas. Treatment required surgery, scalpels cutting into his eyes. Already severely nearsighted, his vision worsened further, leaving one eye permanently impaired.

It took six years to rebuild both his broken spirit and weakened body before he managed to find new work. From then on, with the weight of past mistakes on his shoulders, Jin worked earnestly.

And it was during this period that the Jin of today was forged.

He had lost trust and left his first company because he had slacked. He had suffered blindness because he had underestimated his illness. But because he put his whole heart into it, he was able to remain with his second company until retirement. He never married, and life was full of hardships — but he could proudly call it a happy life.

Where there is reason, there is result.

For good or for ill, every act brings its consequence.

Every choice carries responsibility.

These beliefs were what Jin had earned through his life — something close to a creed.

---

Back to the present.

Jin had chosen to live as an adventurer in this new world — a profession where taking lives was part of the job. Even if the underlying motive was "to be of help to someone," being an adventurer meant inflicting pain, and ultimately, taking life.

If you take life, you must be ready to have yours taken. If you inflict pain, you must be ready to bear pain in return.

To Jin, that was a conviction — the minimum courtesy one owed when taking a life.

That was why he could not accept this situation, where, as if still governed by game mechanics, he felt no pain.

He opened the Menu and stared at the entry: Damage Reproduction Rate.

He knew that even if set to maximum, it would still dull the pain. The only way forward was to erase the setting itself.

Fixing his eyes on the entry, he poured all his will into imagining it gone.

He knew he was being greedy. He knew it was arrogant. He knew it was spurning a blessing — a kindness freely given.

And yet, he could not accept it.

If anyone else had such an ability, he would think nothing of it. But for himself, it was unacceptable. He simply could not abide a world where he felt no pain.

(I’m sorry, God. But please — allow me this selfishness!)

(Disappear! Disappear! Disappear! Please, just vanish!)

He strained, but instead, beside the entry, new text appeared: (Deletion not possible).

Even so, Jin would not give up. He continued to imagine it, with all his heart.

To live in this world without feeling pain was, to him, far too dishonest toward the world itself.

On this point, he could never compromise.

(OFF! OFF! OFF! Please — turn OFF! Disappear! Be gone!)

After what felt like an eternity of minutes, the words (Deletion not possible) flickered and vanished.
In its place appeared: (OFF). The entry itself turned gray, showing it was inactive.

Perhaps this miracle — altering something never meant to be changed — exacted a price. Jin felt a heavy fatigue deep in his core. But at the same time, his heart was light. He had achieved his goal, and gratitude welled within him toward whatever power had granted this miracle.

Then he noticed — multiple presences, circling him, watching.

"Seems I’ve kept you waiting."

Jin muttered with a grin, raising his sword to steel his heart.

Around Jin and the Pam Flowers, a swarm of ant-beasts gathered.

Previous Chapter - TOC - Next Chapter