Chapter 15: The Result of Slime Pop Addiction. A Problem Way Too Big to Ignore Has Surfaced!
"Ah, Zephyrus-kun. Welcome. …Wait, how did you even get into the girls’ dorm?"
While the three <Princess Job> girls were trembling with emotion from having their stats arranged in the ultimate style, I had gone off to fetch Hanna.
And where would Hanna be in the morning? Of course—the girls’ dormitory.
Well, strictly speaking, guys weren’t allowed inside. My original plan was just to wait for her outside.
But then…
"Some really kind people offered to guide me."
I said that and glanced back over my shoulder.
For some reason, there was now a whole crowd gathered behind me. A rainbow of flashy equipment made for quite the spectacle.
"Uh-huh… Zephyrus-kun, did you forget you’re a 【Hero】?"
"…Oh yeah. I did forget."
That’s right. I’m a 【Hero】! Officially ranked Number One in the Top of Job charts.
When I first enrolled, I was showered with cheers and attention everywhere I went.
The recruitment wars back then felt like ages ago. Ever since I made my own guild, everything had quieted down so much that I completely forgot about it.
So when I showed up in front of the girls’ dorm, people started talking to me. Without thinking, I blurted out, I came to pick up a party member. Then someone said, Oh, then let us show you the way! …and this is where I ended up.
For a brief moment, I did wonder if a guy was really allowed inside the girls’ dorm. But since they were kind enough to guide me, I decided to drop that question and obediently follow along.
Hmmm. So this is the girls’ dorm. A forbidden sanctuary.
Back in the <DanKatsu> game days, it was, of course, off-limits. Which means this was technically my first infiltration—both in-game and out. Crap, thinking about it that way makes me nervous.
"Just wait a little longer, Zephyrus-kun. I’m almost done—no, I’ll make sure I finish up now."
"What, having some trouble in there? If you need a hand, I—"
Before I could finish, a loud CRASH—BOOOM—KABLANG! rang out from the back of Hanna’s room, like a full-on avalanche had just hit.
The sound of some unimaginable weight collapsing. What the hell was that…?
"Hey, Hanna—"
"Yes? What is it, Zephyrus-kun?"
Hanna’s smile was dazzling. A smile so forceful it left no room for objections.
But I brushed right past it with style.
"Pardon the intrusion."
"Ah!? W-wait, Zephyrus-kun! It’s a mess in here right now—!"
Heh. Naïve, Hanna.
I gently but firmly pushed her aside and stepped in. With all her STR and other stats still at base value, there was no way Hanna could possibly stop a 【Hero】. Fuhahaha.
And what greeted me inside her room was…
A mountain. No—a room completely overflowing with glowing crimson magic stones.
Actually, I’d already suspected as much. After all, the avalanche of magic stones had spilled all the way into the hallway by the entrance.
Her entire room was practically buried under them.
I turned back around and asked the obvious question.
"Hanna. What the hell is this?"
"Eh… ehehe?"
Her answer was a nervous giggle.
Cute.
Even the little head tilt was cute, sure. But still—not the answer I was looking for.
"‘Ehehe’ isn’t an answer. We’ve barely been at the academy for a month, and already… what the hell is this!? Your whole room’s buried in magic stones!"
"N-no, it’s not like that! You’ve got it wrong, Zephyrus-kun! There’s a reason for this!"
"Oh? And I suppose it’s a reason that’ll actually convince me, right?"
"U-uh, well… ehe… ehehe?"
Nope. Still not an answer. Where the hell did she even learn that from?
So that’s how it is. Slime Pop Addiction—taken to the absolute extreme. This girl’s a full-blown Slime Pop junkie!
Don’t farm Slime Pop so much that your entire room gets filled with loot! I figured something like this might happen eventually, but in under a month? That’s way too fast.
I let out a deep sigh and said:
"—We’re cleaning this up."
"…Eh?"
"I said we’re cleaning. Right now. Come on! Stuff everything into this <Item Bag (Capacity: Large)>!"
"Y-yessir!"
At that moment, I was truly grateful I owned not just one, but two <Item Bag (Capacity: Large)>!.
Sorry, Kalua, Rika. Your loaner bags are gonna be delayed a bit.
With lightning speed, we packed everything up. Somehow, we managed to cram the mountain of stones into those two bags. Thank god they fit.
During cleanup, I got a few impatient chat messages from the <Princess Job> trio, but I didn’t tell them the reason—it’d be too embarrassing for Hanna. I just said we’d be a little late. I’ll apologize properly later.
"Wow, Zephyrus-kun! Look, look—the floor! I can see the floor!"
"What kind of life have you even been living until now, Hanna?"
Seriously, how did she even let it get this bad? Definitely the work of a Slime Pop addict. She must’ve been seeing magic stones as meals or something.
"H-Hey, Zephyrus-kun. So… what’s going to happen to all those stones?"
Hanna, who was looking around the now-spacious room like a guest visiting a brand-new house, suddenly turned and asked me in a whisper.
I answered flatly.
"They’re confiscated."
"Wha—no way!?"
"…Of course not."
"G-geez! You’re so mean, Zephyrus-kun!"
"The mean one is you. Look at these <Item Bag>—they’re bursting full. You’d better reflect on this."
"O-okay…"
Phew. I suddenly felt drained, but at least the mission to pick up Hanna was complete.
Later, when I brought Hanna back to the guild room, rumors started spreading: The Hero forced his way into a girl’s room and confiscated all her belongings. When Professor Phyllis came to check on it, I almost died of embarrassment.
Thankfully, the academy announcement board cleared it up as a false report. The misunderstanding was resolved without incident—but somehow, word spread that I’d gained more "Hero fans." Honestly, that part still gives me a headache. Why would that increase fans? And what even is a "Hero fan" supposed to be?
Disclaimer: Heroes forcibly barging into rooms and stealing items only happens in the game!
Oh, right, <DanKatsu> was technically a game.
"…By the way, Hanna, how were you even living in that room? Cooking and stuff?"
"For cooking, I used the academy kitchen. I mean, individual dorm rooms don’t come with a kitchen to begin with, Zephyrus-kun."
"Ah… right. I’d forgotten. The noble dorms had them, so I got careless."
On the way to the guild room, I got more details about her disaster of a room. Apparently, the overflow had only started recently.
Up until then, she’d been alchemizing them into <Magic Stone (Small)>, then processing them further to keep things under control.
"But then my gear ate up most of my mirus, and I started panicking a little."
"…That mountain of stones was you ‘panicking a little,’ huh?"
Guess I’ll have to be careful not to let Hanna panic again.
Apparently, she’d gotten so caught up in crafting (…?) that she ended up like that. At least she was steadily walking the path of a crafter (…?).
"But you know, Zephyrus-kun, it’s amazing! My Unique Skill, 『All Alchemy Depends on Offerings』 If I sacrifice any unused drops from <Silver Chests>, they multiply into twenty! My MP potions just keep piling up—it’s so fun!"
"…I see. Good for you, Hanna."
I must’ve looked at her with a pretty gentle expression just then.
Turns out Hanna was doing regular alchemy too, not just endless Dessert Fumbles.
Hanna hadn’t really done much normal alchemy before now. No wonder she was having fun.
She even seemed to be mastering that Unique Skill, 『All Alchemy Depends on Offerings』
It was reassuring in its own way… but after seeing that disaster of a room, I couldn’t honestly celebrate.
"Hey, Zephyrus-kun. Wanna go gathering <Mana Grass> again?"
"Yeah. But that’ll have to wait a bit. I want to reach E-rank first. We’ll go gathering after that. Just hold on for a few more days."
"Okay…"
"Sorry. Until then, keep working that loop with 『Material Return』 and 『Offering Alchemy』."
"Got it."
If you use 『Offering Alchemy』 to duplicate an item, then toss one copy into 『Material Return』 to turn it back into raw materials and use those again in 『Offering Alchemy』, you can make an infinite loop. Since both skills were already Lv10, there was no risk of failure or losing items. Absolutely busted.
The only issue was that 『Offering Alchemy』 and 『Material Return』 both consumed MP, and we didn’t exactly have a bottomless supply of <Silver Chest> drops to burn. It wasn’t something she could just spam endlessly. I’d already given her my <True Soul Necklace> with 『MP Auto-Recovery Lv1』, but even so, her MP was still nowhere near enough.
Honestly, instead of looping, she’d save more MP by gathering new materials and focusing only on 『Offering Alchemy』. More effort, sure, but way more efficient.
"So then, what’s the plan for today? You gonna take the E-rank exam?"
"Nah. Tomorrow. You can’t always do it the same day you apply, and there’s something else I need to handle first."
I told her about the rare boss materials Marie-senpai had asked me to collect.
"Then today’s the <Tsukumo Bamboo Grove Dungeon>, huh? Are we going now?"
"Not yet. First, we’ve gotta dump everything in the guild’s storage. At this rate, there won’t be room for the loot."
After all, both of my <Item Bag (Capacity: Large)> were already stuffed to bursting. I never thought they’d hit capacity before we even set foot in a dungeon.
"Uh… ehehe?"
Seriously, who taught her to brush things off like that? It’s way too cute. If I didn’t have nerves of steel (…did I actually?), I might’ve let her off the hook.
After that, Lana chewed me out with, a You’re late! And when I unloaded the bags into the guild storage, she shrieked, Wha—what is this mountain of magic stones!? Is this a swimming pool!? Zephyrus, are you planning to swim in them!?, I am not swimming in them. Anyway, let’s skip the rest of that commotion.
The F-rank guild storage was so tiny that we only freed up space in one of the <Item Bag (Capacity: Large)>. That’s how many magic stones there were. Honestly, I didn’t even want to count them.
Still, one bag was finally empty, so we could manage the dungeon run. For a while there, I wasn’t sure if it’d even be possible.
With that done, I joined up with the usual five and we headed into the <Tsukumo Bamboo Grove Dungeon>.
"This is the power of a 【Saint】! 『Sacred Tree of Holy Light』!"
Lana’s area spell lit up the floor.
"Bibiru!?"
"Bibirubibiru!?"
The poor <Oyutaro> and <Basket> got wiped out instantly by the blast.
Crazy strong.
"How about that, huh? Zephyrus, don’t you have something you’d like to say to me?"
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, you’re really strong?"
"Why does that sound like a question!? Say it with confidence! I’m ridiculously strong!"
Sorry, Lana. I don’t mean to sound unenthusiastic. It’s just… she was so strong that I didn’t even have a chance to act, and honestly, that was a little lonely.
After entering the dungeon, I’d been letting the <Princess Job> girls have their fun with all their newly unlocked skills and spells, and by the time we reached the fifth floor, Hanna and I still hadn’t lifted a finger. Lana and the others had simply gotten too powerful.
That wasn’t gonna fly.
"Next floor, I’m fighting too!"
"Hold it right there! The sixth floor has ghosts, remember? Obviously, that’s my specialty again!"
"You’ve already had your fill, Lana. Give me a turn!"
"That’s not fair! Princesses get priority!"
"‘Princess priority’ isn’t a thing, damn it!"
We ended up bickering over who got to kill the monsters, but even with that, our pace never slowed. We skipped most of the harvesting this time, and with all the hidden rooms already cleared before, we made steady progress. By just after lunch, we’d already reached the Safe Zone.
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